its my mom’s bday and so i greeted her with all the cheesiness my heart and mind allowed. what i wasnt prepared for was her response. i got teary-eyed and it felt like i swallowed my heart. it feels sooo damn good to have a good relationship with my mom after all my brattiness. aww!
happy bday mom. i know i might the daughter that u wished for but i can try. =)loveusoomuch.
back to hardcore diet. must work double time until may. if its 15kgs to go before xmas, now its 17kgs. mom tried stopped me from eating during xmas and new year but what the heck?? i said i prepared for the holidays for six long, hell-like months just so i can pig out. so i went and pat myself on the back after giving in to the temptation. but i must focus now. i’ll beat myself up to shed these excess stubborn fats. grrr! haha
new year came without notice. it caught me offguard and now i dunno what new year’s resolution i’ll make (which by the way i reckon will be bound to be broken.*again??*) every year i’ll promise i’ll do something but i’ll end up not doing it. sometimes i want to have it tattooed in my arm just so it will remind me. this year, i told myself that i’ll be a “dalagang pilipina” i’ll try my best to be mahinhin. from what i can remember, that’s what i wanted to do last year but my friends had to remind me every 15 minutes. let’s see how far it will go. boo! wish me luck! haha
when im sad, i want the day to end right away so sleep can numb all the pain i felt throughout the day and i can start looking forward to a brand new day. a brand new start and maybe, a brand new life. maybe i cant change the past but i can definitely shape up my future. but 2010 is starting to bid goodbye. in my carefree way of life, i seem not to see any highlight of this year that make me feels like it didnt give me anything new. maybe i’ll blame it on the fast pacing of life that i seem not to notice the things that changed in me and in my life. im forgetting all the good and bad things that happened to me. im being blinded by the fact that i take everything lightly.
2010 may not feel like a good year for me but when i think about it, probably, this is the best year of my life so far but i dont want to think that this is the best year for the fear that the coming years will fai to measure up and will forever be outshined.
2010 is the year that i graduated from college after almost 8 years of overpartying in college.
2010 is the year that my mom and i started to get along well (sign of old age?)
2010 is the year that i met my match (or so i thought. not that im desperately looking. *defensive??*
2010 is the year that i landed my first job, met a bunch of strangers i now consider as good friends (which, by the way will make me a cry buckets of tears at the signs of saying goodbye)
2010 is the year that gave me a lot of first times. magazine is the first thing ever that i bought using my own salary. i paid my rent and all of the other things i want. i felt so independent. i felt the world under my feet. soaring is understatement.
2010 is the year that made me create the world i so wanted to be in. i know i have a lot growing up to do but im taking everything one step at a time and i know, 2011 will never fail me. i’ll achieve more and i’ll be more. this is just the beginning. 2010 might also have given me heartaches and tears, but i will never consider them bad at all. i’ll charge them to experience. im also open for those things coz i know it’ll make me the fighter that im now starting to be. i need to start stepping out of the shadows of my mom and dad and start to build something on my own.
2010, thank you so much! =)
what’s not to love about my new dorm?
- very huge sleeping area that froze my “nuts” (or so i felt)
- it’s adjacent to a nice and cozy pantry overflowing with coffee (or so i thought)
- a spacious shower room with toilet bowl that flashes itself (or so i imagined)
- and last but definitely not the least, it’s free for my taking (or so i dont give a damn!)
morning everyone and welcome to my dorm. i’m in the “receiving room” now. come and join me! haha
haaaaaaayyyyy…hmmm! baho! haha. yan nalang muna ang masasabe sa mga panahon na to. grabe. must look forward to vacation para marefresh naman at ganahang magwork after. im starting to think na talaga. gusto ko muna tumambay for some time. hay.
i’ve been having this feeling for a week now. i cant focus and im starting to look for reasons to stay. im not sure if its just because its holidays and everyone is enjoying vacation. while im saying goodbye to them i can hear sad scoring in the back of my mind. all i can think of all day everyday is having fun and bumming around the house enjoying the cold and breezy weather. ive been starting to rummage my brains and force myself to stay rational and see what i must see and not what i want to see. i know i should grow up. =(
lord, thank you so much for everything. im always ranting about not getting all thoses things i want but i realized that they are all whims and caprices and really dont have any grave importance. i cant sleep because i cant buy a damned pair of shoes when in fact a lot of kids dont have even a freakin pair of sleepers. but i still want that pair. =( haha
i really dont like my sked. =( aside from the fact that it’s spoiling my saliva, it feels like eternity after all the others who have earlier skeds left. if you’ll look at me from afar, you’ll think that i’m a very dedicated employee racking her brains out and concentrating so damned hard. but dont come any closer because you’ll see her tumblering to her heart’s desire and cant choose what ebook to read. so bad there’s no fb. haha